04/12/2009

This week I’ve thought a lot about what I’m going to do with myself come summer next year ( after I graduate). It’s not been easy but it’s the only time in the past few months that I’ve actually felt a bit positive about everything. The feeling is great. I suddenly feel like I need to get off my backside, get out there and do something. I have to. I’ve got about seven months now and I feel if I don’t do something…anything, I’m going to be stuck in this rut. God forbid! If there’s something that scares me shitless in this world, apart from my number one fear of death, it’s unemployment. Unemployment after university. I’ll have no excuse of being a full-time student. I shudder.

I’ve also been reviewing the past year. I normally try to avoid this because all my years always end up seeming like they were just crap. Only this time I was triggered by reading the Observer Music Monthly and they were reviewing the past decade in music. My oh my, doesn’t time just fly? I was looking at the songs gone by, the artist. All those memories of my life as it was about ten years ago. I wanted to cry. So much has changed. I don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know myself anymore. Ten years ago I had so much going on for me. Life, friends, happiness, ambition…so much. Now when I look at myself in the mirror I see a ghost.

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