I’m starting to appreciate the joys of daytime TV, especially after the past X Factor-saturated weekend. I had to painfully sit through the cheese fest that was the finale. I hate that program, but my family just can’t get enough of it. I’m glad I never watched a single episode before this. In fact, for the past three months or so I haven’t been watching any TV. Maybe that’s why I’m spending the early days of my holiday permanently perched on the sofa devouring everything the box has to offer.

Yesterday, I attended a family member’s graduation ceremony in London. It was amazing. Everyone was out and about with their families and friends, beaming with pride. All I could think of during the ceremony was ‘It’s me next’. In a few months time, it will be me…and then what? Sigh.

And then…well…so many things.

I’ve already started planning on going away somewhere. Try a new life in a different country. Catch a break. I’m looking at different options at the moment. My view is: I’m still young. I can do anything with my life. Anything I want, and if I’m getting fed up with life here, why not challenge myself and go somewhere different? It’s a big world out there. I’m starting two foreign language lessons at the end of week. I hope it’s for the best.

The Italian was right.

“Get out of there and travel bella. See the world.”


I’m still up. I just can’t seem to sleep. I finished packing about three hours ago. My holiday just began and I plan to spend the next one month resting and planning. Nothing major happening for me this time. It’ll just be family and too much TV. I think. If we can try going at least a week without getting into stupid arguments with each other. Honestly, I’m not really sure how we’ll do that, being christmas and all.


Everything you want in life, someone else is going to want it too. You just need the confidence  to believe that you deserve it as much as they do.

Or so I’ve heard.

It makes sense. Life is about confidence. It’s funny how people will see right through your weakness, and try to take advantage of that. I don’t want to let that happen to me anymore. Ok, I need to stop ranting now. I’m just very ecstatic. The mock interview was great. I passed ( I wish it was a real job) I’ve learnt so many things, first, about myself and second, about what I need to focus on.

In short, what I need to do is  get out there and show people that I want it too and fuck yea, I’m going to get it!


I’m on my bed, editing my CV and cover letter. I have a mock interview in the afternoon with my tutor and I’m very excited! It’s strange but I suddenly feel like ‘this is it’. This, is what I have been looking for all along. It’s only about three days ago that I realised how wrong I was going about the whole CV writing process ( it’s not surprising the process seemed very mundane to me). I wanted to be mad at myself for not doing enough research, but this time I said no. I decided to be happy instead because I believe everything happens for a reason. Who knows? This could be my time, to actually get prospective employers to notice me. Maybe I wasnt meant to get it right the first time and get that part-time job or work experience because I wouldnt have been good at it. To be honest, I’m glad because the last two years of my life have been so broken and confused I would probably have been fired within days of joining any productive team.

 I’m hoping the exercise goes well tomorrow. Here’s to me…♥…!


I have a feeling that one of these days the housemate’s antics are going to drive me over the edge. I really can not stand her selfish attitude. Who wakes up at 5 in the morning ( she doesn’t work, all lectures start at 9) and runs up and down the stairs shouting loudly into her phone? This girl, stomps the stairs like a hyperactive little girl, laughing loudly. At 5 in the morning!!!

I mention this to her ( in passing) she throws a fit and refuses to talk to me. As if I care. She is so frigging puerile!