I’ve been thinking about the date I had with Fish. He wants us to meet again. I can’t wait. I like his character. He’s so serene and collected. Deep even. He wanted to know so much about me that I got a bit scared. I think I’m so used to giving attention to men and sacrificing myself to them that I’ve now forgotten how it feels to be taken care of. To be on the receiving end of someone’s genuine interest in me. He asked me if I was happy. I hesitated for a while. He looked me straight in the eye and asked me again. I just found myself rambling to him about my life (well, just a little bit of it). I’ve never been this honest to any man before. Never, in the past few miserable years of my life have I ever told any man I was unhappy.

I didn’t see this coming. One minute we were making jokes and laughing  away, the next I’m staring at him blankly wondering whether I should answer his question or not. He smiled at me afterwards and said, “You do realise that you don’t sound unhappy at all?” I don’t sound unhappy? Wow. Does that mean my efforts to try to be happy are paying off? Such that I don’t show it anymore. Such that I’m now at least able to enjoy the little things in life instead of retreating into my own world and being depressed. If that’s the case then  surely this is good news.

2 Responses to “”

  1. thebackofmymind Says:

    Ah! I’m so happy for you! He’s sounds sooo quality! Can’t wait to hear more. 🙂

  2. More quality than I ever expected. 🙂

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