28/06/2010

Whoa! I hate looking for a job.

The promising call  I had last week has fizzled into nothing because I received an email saying I was unsuccessful.  I’m really trying my best not to lose it here, so I’ll keep trudging on. I’ve also had four rejections by email. 😦

 At this point, I’m ready to find a job in an unrelated field of study. In fact the plan has changed to: FIND ANY BLOODY JOB!!!

25/06/2010

I’m starting to think I have a magnet in me that once I attract a certain type, similar ones follow in droves. I mentioned about Fish being in the army here. Well, guess what? I spoke to The Italian over the weekend for the first time in months, and he’s in Afghanistan!  He was sent  there earlier this year, hence the lack of communication. His assignment ends in November which isn’t far away but judging from our conversations, he’s not liking it a lot, which is understandable given the situation there. I got a bit worried when he first told me about it but I like to be optimistic and hope for the best. The fact that his job is not exactly on the ‘dangerous’ list makes it easier to deal with I guess. He also made sure to remind me that the offer to visit him in Italy when he gets back still stands, the cheeky boy 😀

23/06/2010

I learnt yesterday that I got a 2:1 for my degree. Not bad for a struggling girl like me. I know though, that I’m first class material academically. I don’t mean to  sound up my arse or anything but I was a straight A student before uni. Before all the bullshit. I look at all the guys in my course and I can’t see anyone who’d have put up with what I had to put up with. None of them. They would have dropped out without question because it’s tough beyond words.

20/06/2010

It’s been what? Two weeks now? Just about.

Applications sent: I’ve lost count. I’ve lost count of all the job boards and CV sites I’ve registered myself. Lost count of all the recruitment agencies I’ve called and gone to register my details with. Lost count of all the companies I’ve cold called. I’m very shattered but still going strong. I told myself when I started this:

I’ll be damned if I don’t get what I want

Progress so far: Three responses, one which is very positive and might get me an interview at the beginning of July.

I even had to clean my perpetually messy room and rearrange it so that my reading desk can face the window where enough light was coming through as I decided to sit at my desk with my laptop while doing stuff instead of the usual culprits, the bed or the kitchen table. I need to feel ‘proper’, like I’m doing something.

Now, on to something else that I’ve always wanted to rant about

I am a very sexual person. I love sex, certainly not obsessed with it and can go without it but when it comes to being with someone I love the full sexual experience. I want to be with someone and feel his whole person, experience a fulfilling and mutual connection without any ‘what ifs and buts’, even if it is to last for only a few minutes, I want those few minutes to mean something. I’m the type of person who’ll look at a man I find attractive and think ‘by God, I want to do that man so bad’ but at the back of mind still think ‘if we get into a relationship, I’d stay with him for as along as it takes, even forever’

What am I saying? I’m saying that if I met a man today, found him appealing to me (doesn’t necessarily have to be attractive nor does it have to be love at first sight) I have the ability to have sex with him on that first encounter and yet be able to  enter into a relationship, if w both wanted,  where I’d be faithful and loyal to him. That is just the way I am. Call it a voracious sexual appetite , call it whatever you like but that is me. What I hate is for people to think that a woman can not be like that. That a woman, can not want to fuck a man’s brains out on that first encounter and still make a faithful partner. To me, that’s ridiculous. I’ve never cheated on any man in my life and I never will. I understand that society has an unwritten rule on women and their sexuality but  I like to have my own rules on this issue. The way I see it is, if I met a man and we got to know each other and he judged me solely on my sexual appetite and they way I went about it and he left me, then that’s his loss because he didn’t stay long enough to see how faithful and truthful I could be to him.

03/06/2010

Well, I started  looking for a job. Forget the voluntary one that I do once a week and enjoy. I’m looking for a job that will pay me because I need to save money.

Drop your job hunting tips. Even by email.

Thank you.