11/09/2010

I thought I had stuck a fork in it with BB, only for him to track me down. He’s of the numerous e-mail addresses. Turns out he’s separated *shuddering*. I’m not sure I can deal with all that baggage, what with my own heap to deal with. His baby though, is really beautiful. Definitely inherited his father’s mysterious green eyes and has the sweetest little smile in the world 🙂

With this sudden turn of events, I’m now left wondering,  ‘what exactly does he want from me?’ Sex? A short-term thing (sex and more but only for the short-term?) I don’t half understand the bloke. He tells me a lot about his life now and we seem to meet more often than before. I still like to think it’s just a physical thing mainly because I’m not in the position to start caring about a man with a baby. I’m simply not capable of that. It’s too much to deal with. He, however, knows that he can get what he wants from me. He’s better than me in most things. Better life, better job, status, nice car, more experience. He knows this and is using it to get want he wants. The saddest part is that I’m letting him do this to me because I feel at this point in my life, no sane man would want to be with me. It makes me want to cry just thinking of it that way.

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7 Responses to “”


  1. Whether he has a car, good job or whatever does not make him better than you. He’s no better than you, regardless of job/money etc – or any of the materialistic things, all that is nonsense which is meant to impress.

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know you have confidence and charisma, don’t talk yourself down x

  2. bedshaped Says:

    A positive attitude and outlook is definitely the best way forward, so it’s nice to hear that you’re trying. Of course there will be down days, but that’s when a place like this really helps. It’s helped me loads, so I hope you stick with it.

  3. gekkogirl Says:

    I agree with both earlier comments.

    It seems that a lot is going on for you right now. When that happens, it is easy to see yourself as someone you are not, rather than the person that you are. Comparing yourself with others will only exacerbate it…

    For a start, he wouldn’t keep coming back if you weren’t special… even if he isn’t someone you want to *really* be with.

    Chin up Missy, we’re all rooting for you. x

  4. beckyb26 Says:

    I’ve learned that it’s better to take the pain now, and NOT deal with the baggage than to have hope and get hurt over and over again.

    I had to detach from a similar relationship and even though it was REALLY hard and hurt A LOT, I am so much happier and freer now than I have ever been. 🙂

    You are fantastic and don’t need a man to be happy. Especially because it seems that you aren’t, really. 😦


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