07/12/2010

I was going to blog about how the devil incarnate of a landlord harassed me over the weekend, how I took a fall in the snow, how I’ve had to move out, how I caught yet another cold and how today is the only day in about 10 that I’ve properly eaten, but I’ll do that in another post. Instead I’m going to  have a little rant about my father.

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My dad is the most spineless man I’ve ever come across. Wimpish is a big understatement when defining him. I resent him very much for this, and off late my feelings have lingered dangerously on the hate scale. You can go crazy on the comments and tell me I have ‘daddy issues’ if you like.

But  listen to this: He has three properties abroad – properties which he wouldn’t have bought were it not for my mum constantly nagging him to make an investment. In fact she practically just got up one morning and stole a huge sum of money from his account and went to buy these properties. He didn’t speak to her for ages after this. Anyway, of the three properties, one is a three bedroom house in a  desirable area, where he could make a lot of money if he wanted, for a family to rent  or make it a holiday let. But no, he doesn’t see it that way. What’s happening instead? He’s let my uncle live there and run the place down. My uncle does not care about the property because it’s not his anyway. It’s like his little holiday retreat where he does everything and expects someone to pick his mess up for him, only there is no one to do that so the place is left in right state. He hasn’t kept up with the bills, or even paid the caretaker that was originally there for ages, he chooses instead to stay away partying and living it up. Ever since we learnt about this, all my father has done is complain but not do a single thing. He remains silent. I mean who the fuck does this? Whenever my mum talks directly to this useless uncle of mine, he promises he’ll sort things out, but he doesn’t! I’ve told my dad for the past one year to get out there and kick some arse. For fuck’s sake if it means throwing the man naked out in the streets in the middle of the night, do it! No he can’t. He worries instead what his families and friends will think of him. Yes, laugh with me please. My dad’s sole purpose in life is to impress people and to look good or wealthy in front of others. This makes me very angry because most of our relatives don’t care about us, especially when they know we are cash-strapped. They just want to take, not give. They don’t even communicate enough with my parents, especially since the financial situation started – when they do it’s usually to show off. So why in the world would he care about what any one of them thought? Are his relatives, friends, and more annoyingly, his ‘status’ important than the welfare of his children? Or his children’s inheritance? I don’t get it, what kind of man is this? The kind of man who complains about the living costs of his daughter at uni because he thinks that money could have been spent on something else, like buying a flashy car. Where did this type of man come from? I’m finding it really hard to  believe I share the same DNA as this man. A father is supposed to be responsible. And aren’t parents supposed to walk to the ends of the earth for their children? So why this selfishness?

It doesn’t help matters that when things are bad, he thinks he’s the only one suffering. He thinks he’s the only one stressed about the money situation. He thinks he’s the only one not having enough to save or spend. It’s always about me, me, me. Everyone should feel sorry for him. My mum should drop what she’s doing and baby him. He’s got this way of eating at your spirit that is so exhausting I can’t take it anymore. I’m not the parent here, he’s the parent. He’s capable and able-bodied, I will not suffer in the name of pandering to his needs. I simply refuse to suffer because it’s avoidable. Because I want to live well. Because I don’t want to have someone who can not so much as think creatively for himself, who wants every decision to be made for him. I’m too young for that.

I actually really, hand on heart, feel very sorry for my poor mother for marrying such a man. I do not regret saying that here. If I was going to post everything about how my mother has suffered being with my father, I’d never stop typing. It’s almost as if she had 3 children instead of 2.

I mean, by God, I don’t  want a man like my father in my life. Never. I will not so much as glance at one.

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One Response to “”

  1. Brennig Says:

    Hmm… I think your mum knows the kind of man your dad is. But it does seem a shame that the other place is being run down.

    Sorry to hear about your landlord/fall issues.


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