Text from unknown number on 12/10/2010 at 08:40:

Morning ūüôā seen you gumtree¬†add! Wondered if you would be interested in massage¬†? ¬£60 per hour’ im cleam professional guy from [omitted town]

What??? I put an ad on gumtree¬†looking for work and some perv thinks he can score some? For a girl who has only ¬£10/week to spend, that offer is tantalizing but I don’t fancy my name appearing on Crimewatch.¬†Neither does the thought of selling my body give me comfort.


The company that gave¬† me an interview three weeks ago called me again this morning. Apparently they might take me on a temporary basis. I didn’t see this coming but you never know with jobs these days. I’m waiting for their email with all the details on Monday and hopefully¬†I’ll have something to occupy me by the end of the week. Truth be told I was growing very weary and just about stopped looking for jobs last week. Not to mention how angry I am at my father at the moment. He quit his job two weeks ago. I fail to understand the kind of man who quits his job when his family really, and I mean¬†desperately needs him. I’ve watched¬†my mother slaving herself to keep us afloat and all my dad wants to do is sit at home and ‘rest’. He says he can’t cope. Who can?¬† Times are tough. I can’t cope¬†either ¬†but I’m out there looking for something. It’s not fair. I sat up in bed last night thinking about the situation and all I could think was¬†of how ¬†much¬† I resent my father and I won’t even lie I am very bitter , but you know what through all this I’ve learnt a very important lesson: Never to put up with a man like my father. In fact, I do not want a¬†husband like my father in my life. I don’t know how my mum does it. I really don’t.


So, I meet Barclays Boy at around noon, I get in his convertible (different car from the other day) and he’s driving his way through town, heading for the park he told me about and I’m thinking ‘God help me, I hope my mum does not see me, or worse my dad.’¬†Luckily, nothing of the sort happens and I let out a sigh of relief¬†and take in the cool and crispy country air as we are finally out of town. Speeding away on a quiet country lane, I keep thinking of how¬† random our meeting was while he keeps glancing at me now and again.

We get to the park, he takes out the picnic stuff he brought and we walk along trying to find a secluded place to sit down. We finally find a little jetty which states clearly that it’s only for the fishermen and other members of the public¬†are prohibited. We jump across the fence, cut through a little bush and¬†go for it. We sit by the jetty and start talking about how beautiful it is while dangling our feet in the water, then he kisses me and grabs my waist to pull me closer. I close my eyes and we make out for a few minutes before having the drinks and chocolate he brought. We then continued talking about work, his and my yet-to-be-found job, sailing, surfing and my poor swimming skills. We stay there for about an¬† hour before heading¬†to Starbucks for coffee. ¬†He then informs me that he has to find something for his car breaks. I say something because I don’t know what, as soon as he mentioned car breaks I thought ‘meh, men and their cars’¬†and promptly stopped paying attention. We¬†go to Halfords, Argos, Wilkinsons and they don’t ¬†have this thing. Just as I’m about to tire of this man-shopping we¬†eventually¬†find it at B & Q.¬† We head to town where he drops me off after a long kissing session and we promise to meet¬†on ¬†Wednesday.

Now here’s how it is: I don’t fancy him and neither is he very attractive but I can work with that because I don’t want a relationship with him and he doesn’t seem to want one either. He didn’t give me his phone number and I’m not going to ask for it. He knows where I live and¬† I told him I live with my parents. I¬†don’t know where he lives exactly. I don’t want to find out unless he takes me there himself. I’m going to keep this very simple. I’ll meet¬†him next Wednesday as promised and if it leads to anything it’s going to be purely physical.

Now back to job hunting.


I moved in with my parents last thursday. I feel restricted but my relationship with my mother is at it’s best and we talk about issues our family is going through more openly now. My dad on the other hand is a disappointment, but that’s another post. My routine since last week has been in this order:

Wake up, have breakfast, search and apply for jobs, go for a walk or a cheeky bask in the park, then come back home.

Well, it was until today.

I needed to post some¬†documents and get a repeat prescription in town, so I left the house around noon, went to the library to print the¬†documents because our printer¬†is out of ink. I got to the library only to¬†¬†realise I had forgotten my USB stick at home. Feeling extremely annoyed at myself for a wasted library session, I walked back home where I found the USB and decided to have a few minutes break before going back to the library. About half an hour later I went to the library, printed everything off and posted the documents. Having not spent a lot of time in this town, I didn’t know¬† where the local surgery was, so I went off looking. I had looked at google maps the night before so I had¬†a specific road in mind¬†and was following it in the hope of finding the surgery. After walking along¬†the ¬†road for a long time¬†and looking around confused¬†I decided to make my way back to the high street. At a slightly hilly corner next to a car park, I saw this man hurriedly walking towards my direction. I didn’t give him a thought.¬†He¬†was simply ¬†a normal guy going about his business like I was. Then I saw that he slowed down as he¬†got¬†near¬†¬†me. I hesitated but it turned out that ¬†he wanted directions to the train station. I knew where it was so I pointed towards its direction and explained.¬† As I finished explaining and made to continue walking towards the high¬†street¬†he¬†¬†said, nonchalantly:

“You are very beautiful. How old are you?”

That caught me off guard so  I smiled and told him. He continued.

“Do you live here?”

I told him I lived¬†near ¬†there¬†¬†after ¬†which he asked for how long and I went on to explain that I had just graduated from uni and moved in with my parents. At this point we were walking together on the direction that he came from. I guess he didn’t need the train station anymore. We got to the town centre where he asked me if I was free for drinks. I told him I¬†would be after finding ¬†the surgery and getting ¬†my prescription first. He offered to drive me there adding that he had a satnav in his car.¬†I thought why not. In the car we talked about stuff. The getting to know each other kind of stuff. Turns out he lives¬†around too and works half an hour away for Barclays. Not bad I thought. And just like I suspected he said, “You are very petite.”

Petite…well, if I got a penny¬†every time a¬†¬† man told me that…e.t.c¬† It’s different this time though. I’ve learnt¬† to love myself. I’m better than say..last year, so it doesn’t matter. It’s my body I can’t change it.

We found the surgery and then he came back after a few minutes to pick me up again for a drink, I guess after remembering his train¬†station business . He drove to a little pub by a hill I’d never seen before. We sat in the sun, talked more about his work, my job hunting process and my very long nails which he asked me to scratch his arm lightly because he said they looked beautiful and wanted to feel them. Half an hour later he dropped me in town and went his way. We are meeting again tomorrow afternoon for more drinks and a little sight-seeing in¬†a beautiful park not too far away from¬†the town centre¬†as he put it.

We’ll ¬†see what Barclays Boy has to offer.


Whoa! I hate looking for a job.

The promising call¬† I had last week has fizzled into nothing because I received an email saying I was unsuccessful.¬† I’m really trying my best not to lose it here, so I’ll keep trudging on. I’ve also had four rejections by email. ūüė¶

¬†At this point, I’m ready to find a job in an unrelated field of study. In fact the plan has changed to: FIND ANY BLOODY JOB!!!