Text from unknown2 on 17/10/2010 at 07:38

Hi babes x

What’s with these shady men and early mornings? What would they do without gumtree? That time on a Sunday morning I’m usually  half slumbering half daydreaming about the 2.3 babies I’d like to have with a beautiful surfer boy and our winter holiday country pile in Switzerland.


Text from unknown2 on 17/10/2010 at 09:13

R u awake babes x

No. Still feeding my babies.


Text from unknown2 on 17/10/2010 at 10:22

Just taken the pic u asked 4 babes x

I don’t seem to remember replying to any of your texts, but goodluck with the gumtree trawling. Gotta go, my beautiful husband calling!


Haven’t had as much as a buzz on my phone since then. And gumtree ad? Deleted! Can’t be dealing with this shit.


Text from this unknown on 12/10/2010 at 09:15:

? Are you free today

I don’t remember replying to your text mate? Desperado much?


Text from unknown number on 12/10/2010 at 08:40:

Morning 🙂 seen you gumtree add! Wondered if you would be interested in massage ? £60 per hour’ im cleam professional guy from [omitted town]

What??? I put an ad on gumtree looking for work and some perv thinks he can score some? For a girl who has only £10/week to spend, that offer is tantalizing but I don’t fancy my name appearing on Crimewatch. Neither does the thought of selling my body give me comfort.